


Blinded

by Mercy_Rhyne



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Blackmail, Cheating (but... not really... voluntary?), Emotional Manipulation, Forced Relationship, M/M, Manipulation, Oof this is gonna be quite something, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rape/Non-con Elements, Though nothing explicit is going to happen, Toxic Relationship, abusive dynamics, very unhealthy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 14:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17003496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercy_Rhyne/pseuds/Mercy_Rhyne
Summary: Roman is a famous actor and YouTuber. He's got the best job he can think of, the best fiancé in the world… he has it allHowever, a meeting with a... fan might quickly turn all of that around





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: None yet, though later on in the fic, bad things will happen. Just so you know haha
> 
> Note: Shout out to my gf for helping me out with this idea haha

Being a famous actor and YouTuber, it wasn’t rare for Roman to get recognised outside. He had starred in a few movies, and his YouTube channel had accumulated over six million subscribers over the years. It was more than he could ever hope, but he definitely wasn’t complaining. He was able to do what he loved for a living, and that was the literal definition of a dream. On top of that, he had the best fiancé one could ever ask for. Despite their occasional fights, he still loved Logan with every fibre of his being, and he couldn’t wish for a better partner. He just couldn’t wait to get married.

All in all, his life couldn’t be better.

It was only a matter of time before that would change.

 

It started when Roman was waiting in line at Starbucks, determined to get his first pumpkin spice latte of the season. Someone softly tapped him on the shoulder, and when he turned around, Roman was faced with a guy, likely around his age. He was a little taller than Roman himself, and held his sunglasses in one hand, the other still hovering around Roman’s shoulder.

The guy smiled shyly when he saw Roman’s face and quickly dropped his hands, looking down as he coughed in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, looking up at Roman through his fringe. “But… you’re Roman Rachel.”

“I know that,” Roman responded with a smile. “But who are _you_?”

“Remy Isidore,” the guy answered. “I- I’m sorry for bothering you, but I… I’m a huge fan of your work! I’ve followed your YouTube for _years_ now! You’ve helped me so much, and I… I just wanted to say hi.”

Roman grinned at Remy. Fan interactions always were his favourites. It never failed to make him feel better. “I’m never bothered by fans! I’m glad I could… help.”

Remy smiled, finally daring to look up at Roman. “Do you think we could… take a picture?”

“Of course!” Roman nodded, moving forwards with the line before him. “But maybe we should wait until… after we get our drinks? After we order, at least. So we don’t hold up the line, of course.”

“Oh, yeah… sure!”

Roman smiled as he turned back, taking another step forward. A few moment later, he could order his drink. Which he did, waiting for his order while Remy placed his own. Remy slowly walked up to where Roman was waiting for his drink, hardly daring to look at the actor.

“Want that picture, then?” Roman asked, looking at the guy with a smile. Remy looked back at him, nodding slowly.

He got out his phone and unlocked it, opening the camera as he turned to Roman slightly.

“Ready?”

“Whenever you are,” Roman nodded.

Remy hummed in response as the two posed for a picture, Roman’s arm around Remy’s shoulders, both smiling at the camera. He then made a few pictures, just to be sure they’d turn out good. Then, he checked the photos he’d made, smiling broadly.

“Thank you so much,” he gushed at Roman, “I can’t believe I ran into you! I love your content so much!”

Roman smiled friendly. “Aw, thank you!” he grinned. “Hey, what’s your favourite kind of video? I like heating about that.”

“Oh, I can’t choose,” Remy responded, a little too quickly. “I love them all! I couldn’t possibly pick a favourite! I love everything you do!”

“Well… thanks,” Roman repeated with a soft chuckle.

“Would it be okay if I hugged you?”

“Of course!” Remy grinned at the response and hugged Roman tightly, holding on for just a little too long. He shot Roman a smile as he pulled away, just as Roman’s name was called by the barista. When he turned around, Roman could have sworn the guy winked at him, but he brushed it off. It was probably nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warnings:** Arguing, drinking, possible reference to sex, sort of cheating (kissing someone else/ sleeping with someone)

 

Time passed quickly, and Roman soon forgot about the meeting with Remy. It was still a vague memory, like most of his encounters with fans, but he didn’t remember the details. Why would he, anyways?

He was currently working on editing a new video for his channel. Stressing about meeting deadlines, as always. It was currently ten pm, and Roman was still working on the video, after working on it for most of the day. It was  _ so  _ close to being finished, and he didn’t want to stop now - but that’s what he had told himself for the past five hours. And here he was, still working on the video. Despite Logan’s protests, he hadn’t stopped - only when his fiancé forced him to stop to eat something, did he really take a break. He just wanted this project to be  _ done _ . He wanted to post this as soon as he could.

“Roman, you should stop this,” Logan spoke as he looked at his partner next to him on the couch. “You have been working on this for hours, you cannot continue this.”

“But it’s almost done, Lo!” Roman protested, looking up at Logan for just a second or two. “I can’t stop now, when I’m so close!”

“You said that an hour ago. And an hour before that. I know how you work, Roman. You aren’t going to get this done today.”

“No, I am. I know I am.”

Logan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. They had gone over this argument before. Multiple times, even. And it was always the same. It ended with Roman overworking himself until he passed out at five in the morning, and Logan muttering something to himself about how ‘I told him so’. Roman was just too stubborn to admit this, both to Logan and himself. Logan had mentioned more than one that he feared that the YouTube gig might not be Roman’s thing. It stressed him out way too much, and he kept pushing himself more and more and more. It wasn’t healthy. 

“You know what?” he sighed frustratedly, getting up. “If that is how you want to do it, fine. Work yourself to death for all I care.  _ I  _ will be going to sleep.”

Roman looked up at his fiancé with a frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, getting up to face his partner. 

“I don’t want to have this discussion again, Roman,” Logan sighed as he turned around. “This is not the first time we have had this exact exchange, and I doubt that it will be the last. And it always ends the same. You work yourself up until you fall asleep, meaning you will have to finish your work in the morning anyways. Yet, you never seem to learn from your mistakes, either.”

“Look, I’m just trying to get my work out, okay? It might be difficult to understand for you, but I just don’t want to keep my followers waiting for new content!”

“And you would work more efficiently and put out better content if you got enough rest,” Logan snapped in return. “We’ve been over this, but it seems that it still hasn’t gotten through your thick skull.”

Roman rolled his eyes, used to Logan’s lashing out. He’d just shrug it off and pretend it didn’t hurt as much as it actually did. “My work is perfectly fine, thank you very much,” he retorted. “Not that you’d know. You don’t seem to pay much attention to it anyways.”

Logan opened his mouth to respond, but thought twice and close his mouth again, sending a glare Roman’s way. “Whatever,” he said sharply, turning around. “I’m going to sleep.”

With those words, the guy left the room, leaving no time for Roman to respond as he walked away. And maybe that was for the best, too. The Youtuber followed his fiancé with his eyes, thinking about following him. However, this idea was quickly discarded. He had to calm down first. 

Without any hesitation, Roman got up and walked to the coat rack, getting his jacket. He had to get out.

 

Roman escaped to the first bar he could find. Not exactly a wise or healthy decision, but he knew he could use a drink, and if he had the luck to hear some good music, that would definitely be good to distract him. If he was in luck… 

He sighed as he walked into the bar, the warm air nearly stinging his cold cheeks and hands. Even though he would never want to admit it… Roman was scared. This wasn’t the first time he and Logan had fought, and it seemed to get worse and worse over time. The two of them had been together for seven years, and he feared that they might not make it to eight. The mere thought terrified him. The thought of losing Logan, the one he loved more than anyone else… he didn’t even want to think of it. They were meant to be together, and Roman’s heart ached just thinking about them breaking up. But with every argument, that fear grew bigger and bigger. He was afraid that one day, Logan would decide that it had been enough. That he was sick of their constant arguing, that it wasn’t worth it anymore. And Roman was frightened of this happening. He didn’t even want to think about it. But he couldn’t  _ stop _ . 

And that is where the bar came in. 

 

He took off his coat, and ordered one beer, keeping an arm on the bar as he waited. As soon as the glass was handed to him, he thanked the bartender with a smile and pushed himself up again, taking a sip of the bitter drink. He didn’t even like beer that much, but for some reason… he kept drinking. Don’t ask why. 

The actor found a lonely table against the wall, and he decided to make this  _ his  _ table for now, watching the people on the dance floor as he drank his beer. He could join them later, but only after he finished it. He wasn’t going to leave his drink unattended. 

Roman was about halfway done with the drink, when he noticed someone coming up to him. He mentally prepared for whatever this would be - a fan, someone trying to make a move; he was prepared for anything. 

What he wasn’t prepared for, however, was the guy he had seen a few months prior to come up to him. It was Remy. He seemed a lot more relaxed now than last time, though. But Roman blamed it on either drugs, or alcohol. 

“Hey you,” Remy grinned, sipping his whiskey. “Mind if I join you here? You seem a little lonely.”

“No, go ahead.” Roman sipped his beer once more. Maybe it was best to have some company. More distractions. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“I only come here all the time,” the other grinned, leaning his elbows on the table in front of him. “Fancy seeing  _ you  _ here.”

Roman smiled vaguely at him, before looking down at his hands clasping the cold glass. 

“Now, you look down,” Remy stated, tilting his head. “Anything bothering you?”

Roman shook his head. Remy seemed like a good guy, but they didn’t know each other well enough that Roman would tell him the ins and outs of his relationship. He had only met the guy once, after all. “No, I’m fine, I just… have a lot going on, you know?”

“And you need to escape all of that,” Remy filled in with a nod. “I can get behind that. Well, luckily for you, I’m here to help you.”

“Appreciated,” the actor mumbled, downing the rest of his drink. 

“Looks like you need it, too.” 

Roman just nodded in response, running a hand through his long hair. He really did need it. He just wanted things to be okay between him and Logan, with  _ no  _ fighting. Yes, he could deal with their fights but… it still hurt. And it hurt worse and worse every time. He was afraid that he wasn’t good enough for Logan, that he wasn’t smart enough for Logan. Logan was the love of his life, and he didn’t want to lose that. 

Remy quickly finished his drink, and when he did, he immediately dragged Roman to the dance floor, saying that that was the best distraction. And the actor let him. He was never much of a dancer, but he sure as hell enjoyed himself on the dance floor. Especially with Remy there, he didn’t feel as self-conscious as he would on his own. 

 

The night passed quickly, and the two men had a few more drinks. They returned to their table, drinking and talking. If you asked them, neither would really remember how Roman’s love life came up, but one moment, Roman suddenly found himself talking to Remy about his trouble with Logan and how scared he was about the future of their relationship. And Remy was so sympathetic and sweet about it. He comforted Roman, reassured him, and advised him to talk about his doubts and fears. Easier said than done, but maybe that wasn’t horrible advice, Roman reasoned. But not for tonight. He was scared of facing Logan now. By the next morning, his temper would have calmed down, hopefully. Then, he  _ still  _ had to wait, and by the end of the next day, it would be safe to approach him. 

After that talk, they talked some more. They danced some, had some fun, and before Roman knew it, he felt the other’s lips against his own. And he would forever hate himself for doing this, but… he didn’t push him away. He should have. He should have pushed Remy away, reminded him of his fiancé, the love of his life. But he didn’t. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the shock of the moment, or the state of his relationship. But he didn’t push Remy away. He didn’t protest when Remy carefully, as if he was afraid of rejection, cupped Roman’s cheek and pulled him in closer. He should have pushed him away. But he didn’t.

No.

He even kissed back. 

After the initial shock had worn off, he kissed back. He put his hands on Remy’s shoulders and he. Kissed. Back. 

Future Roman would totally hate himself. But that was a problem for Future Roman, his mind told himself. Present Roman didn’t care. 

Remy carefully pulled back, resting his forehead against Roman’s. “Wanna take this to my place?” he whispered softly, looking into Roman’s eyes. 

Roman knew he had to say no. He had a fiancé. Someone he loved more than anything. They were going to make up and then they would get married and everything would be okay. He couldn’t ruin that, he had to say-

“Sure.”

-not that. 

Future Roman was  _ so  _ gonna hate him. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Eeh morning after? So references to some sex, there's non-consensual cuddling and non-consensual kissing, blackmail

When Roman woke up that next day, he immediately knew he messed up. He was in a room he didn't recognize, wearing... no clothes. He didn't quite have a hangover, but his head did hurt. Probably dehydration from the alcohol. He’d have to get some water for that. Logan would never rest until he knew for sure that Roman had had some water. Ah- Logan. 

Roman looked to his side, seeing Remy still sleeping next to him. And immediately, he remembered what had happened. Right. He  _ had _ fucked up royally. And Remy, apparently.

Looking around in Remy's dark room, the actor tried to locate his clothing - or at least his pants, so he didn't have to wander around the house naked. Luckily for him, they weren't that far away. If he brought himself into an awkward angle, he managed to grab both of them and quickly put them on, still sitting on the bed.

However, when he got up to find the bathroom, a hand grabbed his wrist.

"Where you going?" Remy asked softly, his voice cracking.

"I'm gonna get some water," Roman responded.

Remy groaned, softly tugging on his wrist. "Noo, stay here for a while."

"I can't," Roman answered softly. "This was a mistake, Remy."

"Then make a second mistake."

Roman sighed, gently prying Remy's hand off his wrist. "I've got a fiancé," he persisted. "I can't. I'll have some water, and I'll be out of your way."

Remy cracked an eye open at this, giving Roman a one-eyed stare. "At least have breakfast then, before you leave," he said. "Can't let you go out hungry."

Roman opened his mouth to protest but... he was actually kind of hungry. "Fine," he complied. "But after that, I'm out."

“If you lay down with me for a bit, I can make us pancakes.”

“Remy…”

“Please?” Remy opened his eyes, pouting up at the actor. Roman rolled his eyes with a sigh. He didn’t want to stay here, he just wanted to go home and make up to Logan instead. In an ideal world, he’d cuddle  _ him  _ instead of Remy, but he knew that Logan wasn’t quite fond of that - especially not after a fight. 

“Remy, I can’t.”

“Alright then,” Remy sighed. “Leave then. If you knew where to go.”

 

… He was right. Roman had no idea where they were or how to get home. He couldn’t remember where they went when they left the bar. They took a cab, but… Roman couldn’t recall the address. All he remembered, was that they definitely left the city he lived in.

“I’ll help you,” Remy continued, seeing the realisation and doubt on Roman’s face. "But can we at least cuddle a bit first?"

The actor stared at this guy. The guy he had only met twice, who he had slept with and who was now definitely manipulating him into cuddling. But he couldn’t just go out with no clue where to go. There weren’t a lot of cabs around here, and he didn’t know if there was a bus stop nearby, and walking was a no go. He  _ needed  _ Remy to at least tell him where he was, so he could text someone to pick him up if needed. Did he really have a choice?

“Fine,” he sighed, very reluctantly. “Just a bit, then we have breakfast, and I’m out of here.”

“Of course.”

With a deep breath, Roman lay back on the bed, immediately regretting his decision. He wished he could just go home.

Remy made a happy noise as he wrapped his arms around Roman's waist. He pulled the other closer and nuzzled into his neck.

 

Roman closed his eyes and tensed up; this felt all kinds of bad, and he shouldn't do it, but Remy's hold on him was too strong to quickly break out of. He was betraying Logan like this, and he hated himself for doing this, but what else could he do? When he tried to pry Remy's hands off him, the other just grabbed his hands, and when he tried to tell Remy he was uncomfortable, he'd just dismiss it with a "Hmm, just a few more seconds.". But it lasted way more than just those few seconds.

"Remy," Roman mumbled after minutes that felt like hours, "I think we should... get some breakfast?"

"Of course, Ro," Remy nodded, gently kissing Roman's shoulder - a gesture that made Roman's blood curdle. "Why don't you go take a shower, while I make some pancakes?"

"Sure," Roman muttered, quickly struggling himself out of Remy's arms. The longer he could be away from the other, the better. He bent over to grab his shirt off the ground. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Someone's in a hurry," Remy joked as he reached for his clothes, very clearly checking Roman out. "Just gotta put on some clothes and I'll show you."

Roman nodded, shifting uncomfortably under Remy's gaze and he finally crossed his arms in an attempt to shield himself at least a bit. He turned his gaze to the floor, just so he didn’t have to look at Remy, and waited for the other to get dressed. 

“You can look,” Remy commented with a chuckled as he walked up to Roman, now dressed. “It’s not like you haven’t seen this before.”

He placed a hand on Roman’s shoulder and quickly rubbed his hand down the man’s arm as he passed him. “Come on, I’ll show you the bathroom.”

“Look, I’m sure you’re cool and all,” Roman responded slowly, “but… could you  _ not _ … touch me like that? I’m not exactly… comfortable with that right now.”

“Oh,” Remy just said, stopped in front of a door in his small hallway. “Yeah… sure… here’s the bathroom, so…”

“Yeah… thanks,” the actor nodded, quickly slipping into the room. “I’ll be down when I’m done, okay?”

“Of course.”

Roman smiled vaguely as he closed and locked the door behind him, resting his back against the door. This was all one big mess. 

Remy’s footsteps went back to his bedroom, only to come back just a few seconds later, albeit a little slower. Roman shrugged it off, and slowly took off his clothes again, while trying to figure out the shower. Luckily, it seemed similar enough to his own, so it didn’t take long. 

 

As soon as he stepped underneath the warm water, Roman tried to dismiss all thoughts of Remy for the time being. God, he was so uncomfortable here, and he just wanted to get out as soon as possible. He still felt Remy’s lips on his shoulders, no matter how hard he scrubbed at it - and trust me, he tried until it hurt. He still felt the touch of Remy’s hand on his shoulder and his arm. And he felt horrible, disgusting. He betrayed Logan, he had been an idiot. He was so fucking stupid and now he had to deal with the aftermath of his mistakes. 

He had to go back home and look at Logan, knowing that he had slept with another guy. He had to- oh God, he had to tell Logan about it. No… no, he couldn’t. Logan would snap. His temper was usually worse the day after a fight… he couldn’t break this to him now. Logan would  _ kill  _ him. He deserved that, of course, but… he was too scared to tell Logan. He didn’t want to lose his fiancé. Maybe he could just… hide it?

As soon as he turned off the water, choosing instead the relative warmth of one of Remy’s big towels, he took a breath. He had to face Logan, but first… he had to face  _ Remy. _ And that… that was a challenge of itself. He had to have  _ breakfast  _ with him, and then ask him how to get home. If only he could just… leave. If only he knew where he was. 

Roman took his time drying off and getting dressed. Every second he could stall was a gift. Every moment of peace he could get was a blessing. He had to be ready. God, he felt absolutely awful after this. How could he be so stupid? And how could he ever forgive himself for his stupidity?

 

When Roman found the kitchen, Remy seemed to have just finished making their breakfast. He sat at the table, checking something on his phone, pancakes waiting to be eaten. Roman's phone was laying next to his plate. Which was odd, seeing as he was… quite sure his phone was upstairs.

Remy looked up from his phone to greet Roman, when he saw the actor's confusion.

"Oh! Yeah, I hope you don't mind, but I saved my number in your contacts," he explained matter-of-factly as Roman froze on the spot. "I also texted myself, so I have yours too!"

"You did... what?" he asked softly, voice shaking. "I never gave you permission to do that."

"Didn't know I needed permission to give you my number."

"You needed permission to look through my phone. You needed permission to give yourself  _ my number _ . I'm not okay with that. So could you... could you please delete my number? And the text? I'm not comfortable with you having my number."

As he spoke, he carefully approached Remy, sitting down on a chair opposite the guy.

"But of course," Remy nodded, placing his phone on the table. Not really a gesture that showed his willingness to delete Roman's contact. "Have you thought about how you're going to tell your fiancé about us yet?"

"Not," Roman growled under his breath. This man had no business asking about his private life. Especially after going through his phone.

"No? He deserves to know, right?"

Roman narrowed his eyes at Remy, trying to figure out what he was getting at. What was he thinking, meddling in his personal life? He had a point... but still... Roman was scared to face Logan. He couldn't.

"I mean... I can text him, if you want."

Roman tensed up. "What? You have his number?"

"Now I do," Remy smirked, getting up to get himself some tea. "Want some?"

Roman shook his head, unable to speak. This guy seriously went through his contacts? What else had he seen? His pictures? His private conversations? What was he even thinking?

He had to get out.

"I'm leaving," he announced, getting up as he grabbed his phone.

"How will you find out how to get home?"

"I'll figure something out." He didn't care about that now. He had to get out. He had to.

"Alright, good luck," Remy smirked. "But if you step outside, I'll tell your fiancé about last night."

Roman could feel his heart sinking. Right through the floor. Would he really do this? Did he even have Logan's number? Who was to say that this wasn't just a trick? But Roman didn't want to risk it.  _ If  _ Logan found out, it had to be through him. Not Remy. He couldn't leave.

“You wouldn’t,” he said, his voice trembling just a little bit. Though it was enough for Remy to notice apparently, as he let out a soft chuckle. 

“Wouldn’t I? I can call him now, too, if you wanna. Let him know not to worry about you. Do you want me to?” He emphasised his words by grabbing his phone and unlocking it, making Roman’s heart race. He couldn’t. He couldn’t call Logan. 

He didn’t want to stay here, but… he didn’t want Remy to call his fiancé. It obviously was a trick, but he didn’t want to risk it. Rather be uncomfortable for a bit than losing the love of his life.

Was he really gonna let this guy manipulate him into staying here? Yes... apparently, he was.

Roman sighed and headed back, noticing Remy's satisfied grin as they sat down opposite each other again. He wanted to throw up at the sight of it. He felt gross. Horrible. This was wrong, and every part of his body told him so. But what choice did he really have?

As Roman sat down, Remy reached forwards, gently putting his hand on top of Roman’s. But, when the latter tried to slide his hand away, he grabbed his wrist a little tighter, making it nearly impossible for Roman to pull away.

He weakly muttered a protest, not sure what to do. “Remy…” he tried, “I… kinda need my hand to eat… don’t want the pancakes to get cold, right?” 

It was a weak protest, but Roman couldn’t think of anything better. He doubted Remy would care about him being uncomfortable. This morning kind of showed that already. 

“Of course, babe,” Remy chuckled, rubbing his thumb over the back of Roman’s hand a few times before releasing it from his grip. 

“And don’t call me that,” he muttered before he started to eat. Remy hummed softly, but otherwise, showed no signs of acknowledgement.

The two started their breakfast in silence. Remy would occasionally glance at the man in front of him, who would in turn actively avoid his gaze. He had gotten himself into a big mess now.

 

After breakfast - which was awkward, to say the least - Roman quickly got up, saying he wanted to leave. 

“Of course, Ro,” Remy nodded. “Just let me take a shower and I will take you to a bus stop, yeah?”

“I guess,” the actor sighed, slightly disappointed that he had to stay here even  _ longer _ . But he had no choice, it would seem. 

Remy got up, and as he passed Roman, he ran his hand across the man’s shoulders, sending a shiver down his spine. Why wouldn’t he just  _ stop _ ?

The actor quickly sent Logan a text, telling him that he had stayed with a friend for the night, that he would be home soon. He wasn’t expecting a response, but he just really wanted to let Logan know when he would be home. 

Then, he made his way to the hallway, getting his shoes, so he could put them on and leave as soon as Remy was done.

For the rest of the time he waited, Roman just scrolled through his social media on his phone, waiting for Remy to come down so he could take him to the nearest bus stop. But first, he had to change his password. Apparently, the other guy had found out what it was - he wondered how - and he felt no longer secure using this password.

When he heard Remy coming down the stairs, Roman quickly got up, making his way towards the hallway. He wanted to get out of here immediately.

"Well..." he said as he leaned against the wall, forcing himself to look at Remy.

Remy in turn, raised an eyebrow. "You're in a hurry."

"Yep."

Remy chuckled, but nodded. "Well, if you insist," he said, moving to put on his shoes as Roman got his coat. When he was done, Remy got up and shot Roman another smile. "Follow me, gorgeous."

They walked in silence, Roman staying as far away from Remy as he could - which proved to be difficult, as the other guy would get closer to him if he thought they were too far apart or whatever. Roman was clearly uncomfortable, eager to get out. Remy clearly didn't care.

It took them about fifteen long, awkward minutes to get to the bus stop. Much to Roman's dismay, the next bus wouldn't be here for another ten minutes. And Remy refused to leave until he was on the bus. Awesome. Just great.

"You're so quiet, Ro," Remy purred softly, grabbing Roman's hand as he leaned against the actor's side.

"Yeah," Roman agreed, trying to push Remy off. "I've got nothing to say to you."

Remy whined softly, nuzzling into the crook of Roman's neck, unfazed by Roman's attempts to get rid of him.

"Remy, don't," he hissed finally. "I've got a fiancé, I don't want... whatever this is."

Remy pouted and rested his chin on Roman's shoulder. "That's no way to talk to your new boyfriend, babe."

Roman blinked, words failing him. " _ Excuse me? _ "

"Oh! Yeah, we're dating now," Remy grinned. "Secretly, of course. Unless you don't wanna, of course. Though then I'd have to tell Logan about our little adventure."

He walked his fingers across Roman's chest, pressing himself as close to the other as possible.

Meanwhile, Roman felt like he was going to collapse. This couldn't be happening. This- this happened in movies. Not to him. This couldn't be real. No, no, no.

"You're sick," Roman hissed, but Remy simply giggled, not acknowledging the insult.

 

The rest of their wait was spent in silence, until the bus pulled up. Remy quickly pulled Roman into a kiss. Roman tensed up and tried to pull away, but Remy prevented this by putting his hand to the back of Roman's head, subtly keeping him in place. He tried pushing Remy away with his one free hand, but this didn't work either. So he had no choice but to comply. He just… let Remy kiss him. And he didn’t fight back.

“You should probably go, babe,” Remy spoke as he pulled away. “Don’t want you to miss your bus, right?”

“Yeah,” Roman nodded, immediately getting away from the guy before him as he made his way towards the bus.

“Let me know when you get home, though!” Roman nodded, but didn’t answer Remy as he stepped inside the bus and paid the bus fare.

As he took his seat, away from the side that Remy could see, the actor absentmindedly touched his lips. They seemed to be burning, the memory of Remy’s kiss still very clear in his mind. 

He hated himself so much at this moment. He felt disgusting. Scared. How on Earth did he get himself into this? He was such an idiot. 

He had  _ really  _ screwed up. Royally.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Crying, lying, self-deprecation, self-loathing, blackmailing, texting like…. a lot, looking through someone's phone, swearing

It took the bus about half an hour to get back onto familiar grounds, though it took ten more minutes until Roman got off, and five more minutes until he made it home. All the time, he was shaking, breaking down inside, but trying to keep it together on the outside. At least until he made it home.

He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, but didn’t pay any attention to it yet. He unlocked his front door and cautiously stepped inside. “Lo?” he called out as he took off his shoes. “I’m back. Where are you?”

“Living room,” Logan’s voice responded. Roman nodded and made his way to the living room, guilt and anxiety quickly building up. How could he have slept with Remy? How did he allow himself to do something like this?

He was an idiot, that’s how.

“Hey babe,” Roman muttered. “I’m… sorry about last night. I… I should know that you’re right. I’m just, too stubborn, I guess. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have picked a fight. We _do_ have the same argument over and over. I never learn, do I?”

“You don’t,” Logan answered. “But… thank you, for your apology.”

“Of course.” Roman rubbed his arm, studying Logan’s attitude, trying to figure out what he had to say next. Maybe… maybe he shouldn’t say anything. Maybe it was best to give Logan some space for now. Before he did something stupid. _Again._ “I’m gonna go shower real quick, okay?”

Logan nodded at Roman’s question and the latter quickly made his way upstairs, going to his bedroom to get a new outfit, before making his way to the bathroom.

And as soon as he turned on the shower, as he thought it would be safe, he broke down. With a choked sob, his knees gave in, and Roman managed to push himself against the wall before he fully fell down. He rested his head against the cold white tiles and resisted the urge to punch the wall. He was so stupid, and now he had to pay for that stupidity. He had walked right into Remy’s stupid fucking trap, and it was his own fault. But the guy had seemed so nice the first time they met, how could this happen? How was this even possible?

 

And even now, he felt the traces of the guy’s lips on his, and his shoulder. The feeling of his hands on his, his fingers walking across his chest and his shoulders still lingered. And no matter what he did, he couldn’t get rid of it. It always remained, burning, yet it was barely there. But strong enough to remind him of his stupid mistakes, and how much he hated himself for them.

Again, his phone vibrated a few times and now Roman couldn’t help but wonder _who_ was texting him. It seemed to be important, anyways.

Reluctantly, the actor turned off the shower, quickly getting dressed again. While his tears had died away, his face was still slightly red, so he decided to hide in the bathroom for a bit so Logan wouldn’t have a reason to question him. That gave him a chance to check his texts. But when he checked his unread messages, he wished he hadn’t.

All the texts he had gotten, were from one person. Someone who had apparently saved himself as “Remy<33”.

****

**Remy <33:** _Ro, babe_ **_[11:31]_ **

**Remy <33:** _Hope you got home safely xo_ **_[11:31]_**

 **Remy <33: ** _I had a great time with you, hope to do it again soon_ **_[11:32]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Are you free this weekend?_ **_[11:32]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _??_ **_[12:06]_ **

**Remy <33:** _I really hope youre not ignoring me and you just havent seen this yet_ **_[12:49]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Cause if you ARE ignoring me…_ **_[12:49]_ **

**Remy <33: **_You know what Ill do babe_ ^.^ **_[12:49]_**

 **Remy <33: **_Love ya tho_ <3 **[12:52]**

****

Roman felt his hands shaking as he looked at the messages. Clearly, Remy did not delete his number, like he had requested. It kind of did make sense, with the whole ‘secret boyfriend’ act he apparently wanted to put up, but it was still yet another reason why he was _not_ a good person. As if he could be a good person after everything he had already pulled this morning alone.

He wished that he could block Remy, but if he really had Logan’s phone number - which he didn’t doubt, to be fair - he could text him what they had done that previous night. And he did _not_ want to go through that. Especially not now. So… he had no choice but to respond. He had no choice.

 

 **Roman:** _Im home yea_ **_[12:57]_ **

**Roman:** _and I… suppose Im free_ **_[12:57]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Love the enthusiasm babe_ **_[12:58]_ **

**Roman:** _I told you… dont call me babe_ **_[12:58]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _:(_ **_[12:58]_ **

**Roman:** _Im serious. It makes me uncomfortable, please stop_ **_[12:59]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Of course, my love, dont want you to be uncomfortable_ **_[12:59]_ **

**Roman:** _… sure_ **_[12:59]_ **

**Roman:** _but can we please… not do this? You know Im taken_ **_[13:00]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _I do_ **_[13:00]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _But YOU know my conditions_ **_[13:00]_ **

**Remy <33: **_Its your choice tho xo_ **_[13:00]_**

 **Roman:** _okay but like_ **_[13:00]_ **

**Roman:** _do you have to act like this over text too? Isnt it enough to just do this in private?_ **_[13:01]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Wouldnt be much of a relationship then (:_ **_[13:01]_ **

**Roman:** _… whatever_ **_[13:01]_ **

**Roman:** _I gotta go_ **_[13:01]_ **

**Remy <33: **_Cya love_ <3 **_[13:01]_**

****

Roman sighed as he closed the chat, putting his phone on silent completely, so he wouldn’t have to deal with Remy as much. He couldn’t help but wonder how long this would last. How long would this little game be fun, and how far would Remy go with his blackmailing? What else would he make him do in the future? What would _he_ be _willing_ to do, just to protect his reputation? And where would this stop? Would it even stop?

It frightened him to think about it, but he couldn’t help it.

****

With a sigh, Roman got up and unlocked the door, going down to the living room. Maybe he could get himself a distraction. Watching some television, talking to Logan. Anything.

He sat down on the couch in the living room, reaching for the remote to turn on the television. But before he could, he locked eyes with Logan, who hadn’t moved from his place on the armchair. He was eyeing his fiancé suspiciously, making his heart jump.

“You seem tense, Roman,” he stated after a few tedious moments of silence. “Is anything bothering you?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” Roman quickly brushed off, “just… feeling bad about yesterday, is all.”

Technically? Not a lie. He felt _extremely_ bad about yesterday. He just wasn’t talking about what Logan would think of.

Logan hummed, but he didn’t say anything else. Roman hadn’t expected him to. He hated to admit it, but he was used to the routine by now. He was used to Logan’s colder attitude, and he knew everything would be fine. Logan just needed some time. And Roman would give it to him.

****

Roman and Remy made arrangements to spend that weekend together - extremely reluctantly, on Roman’s behalf. Roman would visit that Saturday, spend the night there and leave again on Sunday. All of it was Remy’s thinking, of course. Roman had no choice but to agree, no matter how uncomfortable it made him. He didn’t want to go. He just wanted to stay home, but he knew the consequences. Remy had him in a choke hold, and both of them knew it. There was nothing else he could do.

He told Logan he would be staying with a friend, because he needed help getting settled into his new house. It was total bullshit, and he felt horrible for lying to Logan, but it was the only way. He wished there was something else he could do, but there was no way that he would explain this to Logan without ruining everything they had. No matter what he did, he couldn’t win.

****

That night, the two men sat down on the couch, watching some random show on TV. However, with Remy pretty much pressed against his side, Roman couldn’t concentrate on the show at all. His mind kept wandering, to what Logan would say if he found out, to what he would _do_. He didn’t doubt that they would fight, it would be a big fight, and his mind kept making up possible scenarios. Would Logan believe him if he explained? Would he forgive him? Or would he walk out without giving Roman a second chance?

Roman flinched when he felt Remy’s arms around his waist. “You seem a little distracted, babe,” the guy whispered, leaning his chin on Roman’s shoulder. “Is there anything I can do?”

Roman shook his head. “No… I’m fine,” he mumbled, not looking at Remy.

“Sure?”

“Positive.”

Remy hummed softly, pressing a kiss to Roman’s cheek as he swung his legs over the actor’s lap, effectively trapping him in this embrace.

“You know you can talk to me, right, babe?” he asked. Roman nodded absentmindedly, not voicing his thoughts about just how much he could _not_ trust him. After all, he threatened to ruin his relationship with Logan. Yeah, totally a good foundation for an open, healthy relationship.

More out of personal comfort than anything, Roman wrapped his arm around Remy. It wasn’t exactly voluntary; he just did it so his arm would not fall asleep, trapped between himself and Remy. But voluntary or not, Remy made a soft, content noise as he snuggled a bit closer.

In all reality, Roman felt like crying. Why did this have to happen to _him_ ? This was one of those stories you read online, or in a magazine. One of those stories you read and you’re happy that didn’t happen to _you_ . You read it and think ‘That won’t happen to me, I won’t make that mistake’. But he _did_ . This wasn’t supposed to happen to him. _Not him_. It was supposed to happen in a story, or maybe in a movie. But not in real life, and most certainly not to him. Why did this happen to him?

Remy brought himself just a bit closer to Roman and sighed contently, turning his attention to the television again.

 

When the show made way for a commercial break, Remy shifted a bit, looking up at his fake-boyfriend. “I’m gonna get a drink,” he announced softly. “You want something?”

“Eh… sure,” Roman nodded, refusing to look at the guy at his side. “You’ve got a- a beer?”

“I sure do, love,” Remy grinned, sitting up fully. “One beer coming up!”

He kissed Roman’s nose with a smile before getting up and walking to the kitchen.

 

As soon as he was alone, Roman took a deep breath, running unsteady hands through his hair. He couldn’t do this. He seriously couldn’t put up with this anymore. This was just the first day together, and he was already about to cave. For a moment, he genuinely considered calling Logan, asking him to pick him up, and explain everything to him. If he would lose Logan, so be it. Anything but… _this_.

In fact, he had already picked up his phone, he had already started the message. He had already thought he’d tell Remy there was an emergency in his family and that Logan would pick him up.

 

But, at that moment, Remy came back, carrying one bottle of beer, and a whiskey for himself.

“Here you go, gorgeous,” he smiled as he handed Roman the bottle. The actor took it with a tiny smile. As he took the bottle, he quickly hid his phone, hiding the message from Remy’s eyes. However, apparently there was something suspicious about his movements, as the other guy raised an eyebrow and his eyes darted to the phone and back to Roman’s face.

“Hiding something from me, Ro?” he asked softly, taking a small sip of his drink before setting it on the table.

“Nope,” Roman said, shaking his head. “Nothing.”

“What were you typing back there then?”

“Nothing.”

“So that’s why you were in such a haste to put your phone away? Because you weren’t doing anything?”

Roman didn’t respond.

“What is it that you don’t want me to see, Roman?”

“It’s none of your business,” the actor responded, his voice louder than he would have liked. “They’re private conversations. Not meant for your eyes. But it’s not like you seem to know the definition of privacy.”

Remy held out his hand. “Show me your phone.” His voice was awfully calm, but there was a sharp edge to it. Slightly creepy, even.

“No! It’s none of your business!” Roman protested as he slid his phone into his pocket. There was no way he would let this guy see his phone, even if he didn’t have a draft text to his fiancé asking to pick him up.

“ _Roman_.” Remy stared at Roman coldly, unmoving. When Roman didn’t seem to be intent on moving either, he sighed, picking his own phone from the table. “Want me to call Logan then? Fine.”

Roman shook his head as the other unlocked his phone. “Don’t.”

“Then give me your phone.”

The actor bit his lip, looking at Remy. God, he didn’t want to do this. But he had no choice. He didn’t want Remy to talk to Logan.

“Fine,” he sighed, handing Remy his phone. The other guy smiled as he took his phone, trying to unlock Roman’s phone. However, when he tried, he found that the password he knew to be correct at first, did not work.

“Changed your password?” he asked, glancing up at Roman. “What is it?”

Roman sighed, holding out his hand. “I’ll unlock it.”

“No.” Remy shook his head sharply. “Give it to me.”

He looked at Remy for a second. Every fiber of his being protested the request. There was _no_ way that he would give up his password just like that! But Remy’s stare just _told_ him that there was no choice. God, he hated feeling this helpless.

Reluctantly, the man gave up his password. It was the day on which he proposed to Logan. The first of June.

 

Remy smirked and unlocked the phone. “Don’t change it after this,” he instructed, not looking at Roman as his eyes scanned the draft that was still left open. “What’s this? ‘Lo, can you pick me-’.” He paused, turning to Roman. “This better not be going to where I think it’s going.”

“I-”

“I hope you weren’t going to leave?” Remy continued. “I thought we had a deal.”

Roman shook his head, not sure what to say. He wanted to fight back, to tell Remy to go fuck himself, but he didn’t know _how_ . As long as Remy had his phone, he couldn’t get out. And as long as he couldn’t get out, he couldn’t risk anything. Remy knew his password to his phone. He could do _anything_. He needed his phone.

“You weren’t?” Remy asked before Roman could even say anything. “Good.” He turned back to Roman’s phone, deleting the draft. “You won’t be needing this then.”

When he had deleted it, Remy wordlessly slipped Roman’s phone into the pocket of his jacket. Roman eyed him for a moment.

“Can I… have my phone?” he asked carefully, looking up at Remy, who had returned his attention to the television, where his show had started again.

Remy shook his head. “Nah.”

“Why… not?”

 

The only response he got, was a quick shrug as Remy wrapped his arm around Roman’s shoulders, pulling him a bit closer. He bit his tongue, holding back a weak protest as he just surrendered and rested his head on Remy’s shoulder. Every moment of this felt like a betrayal to Logan. He was cheating on his fiancé. It might not be out free will, but he was still very much cheating on Logan. He was allowing this man to hold him close, to touch him, kiss him. He allowed him to go through his fucking phone, read his texts, and he didn’t protest. He _couldn’t_ protest, but that didn’t make it any better.

“I need it, though.”

“For what?”

Roman looked away, trying to think of a proper response to this question. It wasn’t as if he needed it this instant, he just didn’t feel comfortable knowing that Remy had his phone. That, if something did happen, he wouldn’t be able to reach his friends, and they wouldn’t be able to reach _him_ . Not to mention that he was aware of just how _unhealthy_ these dynamics were. But how could he break that to Remy? How could he say that without putting himself, and his relationship with Logan at risk? Remy was the one with all the control at this moment. Roman could do nothing but watch. He had no control.

“Exactly.” Remy smiled and pressed a kiss to Roman’s temple. “I love you, Ro.”

Roman didn’t respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead!! I have been super busy with exams lately, so I haven't been able to update. Luckily, I am free now and I can write again :D
> 
> Also- watch me fight AO3 because it can't handle emojis


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Remy being a creep, obviously, blackmailing, definitely toxic dynamics, I think you can label this emotional abuse probably

Waking up that next day was… not so good. At first, Roman was disoriented. He felt an arm around his waist, an arm that he knew wasn’t Logan’s, because it was wrapped around him way too tightly. He was in a room he recognized, but his half asleep mind couldn’t place it. 

And then, it hit him. 

Right. He was with Remy. 

 

With this realisation, a wave of nausea and restlessness hit him. He was… extremely uncomfortable, to say the least. The severity of the entire situation overwhelmed him, and he just wanted to get out. He had hoped that, if he didn’t have to look at Remy, maybe he could pretend it wasn’t him. Maybe he could make himself believe that it was Logan. But, unfortunately, he couldn’t. Even just their touch was so different. Because where Logan was hesitant, and gentle - though it was rare, as Logan was never the touchy type - Remy was… nearly possessive, keeping Roman close to him, even when he was asleep. He tried to get out of Remy’s grip, but he wasn’t sure if he could do this without waking the other guy up. So, he finally decided to just submit to this for the time being and he laid back down, watching the minutes tick away on the clock on his bedside drawer. 

It was nearly exactly an hour after he woke up, that Remy started to stir. He tightened his hold on Roman’s waist for a fraction of a second, before loosing up, and pressing his nose into Roman’s shoulder. The actor tensed up as he felt the other guy’s warm breath against his skin. He closed his eyes again, hoping to maybe get some privacy if he pretended to be asleep. Maybe Remy would get bored and go downstairs. 

 

But, alas. After about fifteen minutes of dreadful nothingness, Roman felt the other guy softly kissing his neck. He flinched, trying to get away from the sudden touch as quickly as possible. Nope. Nope. That was crossing a  _ big  _ boundary. He was  _ not  _ comfortable with this. At all. 

“Well, good morning, babe,” Remy grinned, looking at Roman, who had finally managed to wrestle himself out of the guy’s grip. 

“Can you not… do that?” Roman asked, nearly falling out of the bed with how eagerly he wanted to get away from Remy. 

“Do what, babe?”

“ _ That _ .” Roman hissed. “Calling me babe, I told you, I don’t like it. And don’t kiss my neck, either.”

“Well, excuse me for wanting to show my boyfriend some love.”

“ _ Not  _ your boyfriend,” Roman fumed as he got out of the bed. “You’re manipulating me. It’s not the same.”

“Agree to disagree?”

 

Roman rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I’m getting breakfast and I’m out of here.”

“Well, what a fun guest you are,” Remy muttered as he sat up, running a hand through his messy hair. 

“What a fun  _ host  _ you are,” the actor retorted. “Forcing me into things I don’t want, taking my phone- where is it, actually?”

“Where’s what?”

“My  _ phone _ , of course.”

“Oh, right,” Remy nodded, gesturing to the floor on his side of the bed.

“Can I have it?”

“Of course.” Roman already made his way over to the other guy, when he held up his hand. “Just a kiss first.”

 

The actor sighed, already reaching out for his phone. “It’s my phone, I’m not gonna-” Before he could finish, Remy had gripped his wrist, the other hand pressing against the back of Roman’s head, forcing him into a kiss. 

“There we go,” Remy smirked, as he let Roman go. “You can take it now.”

Roman scowled as he grabbed his phone. Great, he’d have to wash his mouth now, too.

“Yeah, thank you so much,” he snapped. “I’m so glad we’re doing this. You’re a really cool dude Remy. Not an asshole at all.”

Remy got up, raising an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What’s that supposed to- you  _ forced  _ me into this… relationship…  _ thing _ , blackmailing me, not to mention that you went through my texts, and then took my phone? Yeah, you’re not an asshole.”

 

At this point, he didn’t even care what the other would say. It had only been a week or so, but Roman couldn’t deal with this anymore. He had to at least  _ say  _ something. 

“Well, maybe you should shut up if you know what’s good for you,” Remy said, slowly walking closer to Roman. 

“Just… just shut up. I’m getting some breakfast. I don’t want to stay here any longer than I have to.”

Roman stalked out of the room, slamming the door just a bit. For dramatics. He always wanted to do that. He heard the door opening behind him, followed by Remy calling his name, but to be fair… he didn’t want to respond. 

Unfortunately, it didn’t take Remy a long time to catch up to him. He grabbed Roman’s arm tightly, turning him around before he could walk downstairs.

“You don’t get to just say that and then walk out on me!” he hissed, stepping closer to the actor.

Roman narrowed his eyes, ripping his arm out of Remy’s grip. “Watch me.”

 

He quickly turned around, walking down the stairs. Behind him, he could hear Remy following, but he decided to ignore the other guy, get some cereal or something, and get out. He could shower when he got home. 

“Guess I’ll just have to tell Logan about how you manipulated me into a relationship and forbade me to tell him, then,” Remy shrugged. 

Roman stopped dead in his tracks, not bothering to turn around. “No.”

“Calm down your temper and I won’t,” he responded matter-of-factly. 

“ _ My tem _ \- of course.” Roman pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a few breaths. He hated how Remy was blackmailing into doing anything he wanted. He hated how he  _ let him  _ do that. Of course, he could tell Logan the truth himself, to be free from this, but… just the thought of doing this terrified him. Having to talk to Logan about this… yeah, he was not looking forwards to that. 

“So… is that a yes?”

“It’s a…” Roman sighed. “Whatever.”

“That’s not a no,” Remy smiled, wrapping his arms around Roman’s waist as he rested his chin on Roman’s shoulder. “I will take it, then.”

Roman stiffened at the touch, but didn’t say anything about it. He wished he could, but he didn’t want Remy to tell Logan  _ anything _ . Especially not when both of them knew full well that it was a total lie. And  _ especially not  _ when that total lie would ruin his relationship completely.  

“So,” Remy said, dragging out the sound. “Let’s get that breakfast then, right?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being so inactive omg, I've been super busy and never really got around to updating ahhhh. I hope I will be able to maintain my updating schedule from now on, but... no promises, cause I'm a mess. Chapter's a bit short, but... this had to happen haha


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: some self-loathing, Remy being an ass as usual, manipulation, threatening

**Remy <33: ** _Ro_ **_[16:34]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _I was thinking_ **_[16:34]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Weve been together for a few weeks now_ **_[16:35]_ **

**Remy <33:** _Dont you think it’s time to introduce me to your followers?_ **_[16:35]_**

 **Roman:** _what?_ ** _[16:41]_**

 **Remy <33: ** _Yeah!_ **_[16:43]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _I mean… we can make a video together!_ **_[16:43]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _You should obviously introduce me as a friend, cause… well, we wouldn’t be much of a secret otherwise, right?_ **_[16:44]_ **

**Roman:** _…_ **_[16:44]_ **

**Roman:** _do I even have a choice?_ ** _[16:44]_**

 **Remy <33: ** _Only the usual choice xo_ **_[16:44]_ **

**Roman:** _aha_ **_[16:44]_ **

**Roman** _… well alright, I guess_ **_[16:45]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Awesome! Ill be looking forwards to it (:_ **_[16:45]_ **

**Roman:** _sure_ **_[16:45]_ **

**Roman:** _great_ **_[16:45]_ **

****

Roman sighed as he put his phone away, running his hands through his hair. If there was anything he did not want to deal with, it was having Remy in a video. Because not only did that mean they would have to _record_ something, not only did that mean he had to pretend to _like_ the guy, it also meant that his fans would _know_ him. They’d see him as his friend and that… was something he didn’t want to have to deal with. But he had no choice. 

Nearly immediately, Remy continued to let Roman know when he was available for the recording, but Roman didn’t respond. He needed… a minute. He couldn’t deal with this right now. 

With a sigh, he put down his phone, getting up to leave the room. He walked downstairs, into the kitchen to grab himself a snack. He noticed that Logan was sitting on the couch, typing away on his laptop, clearly invested in something. 

“You want me to cook tonight, babe?” Roman called out, inwardly cringing at the nickname that reminded him of Remy. 

“What?”

Roman settled for a chocolate chip cookie and walked back into the living room. “Want me to cook tonight?” he repeated as he sat down on the armchair, pulling his legs up. “You seem busy.”

“Oh… yeah, that… would be nice,” Logan answered absentmindedly, not looking up from the screen in front of him. 

“Alright,” Roman nodded. “I will then. Say, would it bother you if I turned on the television for a bit?”

Logan bit his lip, reading something on his laptop. “Eh- no… I think that should be alright.”

“Okay! Let me know if I should turn it off, though,” the actor said as he reached for the remote on the coffee table. Logan nodded, but didn’t drop his focus on the work before him. 

****

For the next hour or so, the two men sat together in silence. Roman flipped through the different channels, never really seeing something worth watching. Yet he still watched. Just so he had something to do. Something to distract him from his thoughts.

He made sure Logan drank some, as he tended to forget self-care when he was wrapped up in a big project, but other than that, he didn’t disturb his partner, knowing that he’d be too focussed on his work anyways. 

After a while, Roman turned off the television and walked back to the kitchen, announcing to Logan that he would get started on their dinner. All he got in response, was an absent hum from his fiancé. 

The man walked to the kitchen, trying to locate the food Logan had bought earlier that day. 

“Lo?” he called after a few moments. “What did you-?”

“Pasta carbonara,” Logan yelled back. 

“Thank you!”

With this information, Roman quickly managed to find everything he needed, and he got started on preparing dinner. Quite honestly, it was a welcome distraction. He always did love cooking, though he didn’t do it a lot. Not nearly as much as he wanted to. He wasn’t quite sure why. But he was glad to do it. It gave him something solid to focus on, something to do. No room for other thoughts. Just… focus on the task at hand, and everything would be okay. 

Occasionally, he would glance over at Logan, who was so captivated by the thing on his laptop. He was absolutely adorable, despite him repeatedly dismissing that fact. Roman knew the truth. He was the absolute best man in the world, and Roman was so lucky to be dating him. 

****

And then he had to screw it all up by sleeping with some guy. 

Aaand he was thinking of Remy again. Awesome. 

****

Roman crushed some of the garlic with his knife, biting his lip. No matter how much he tried to avoid this guy, his brain always seemed to find a way back to him. He was always on his mind, one way or another. And it was absolutely torturous. Roman just wanted to be able to spend some time with his fiancé, without thinking how he was deceiving the other, cheating on him. He felt horrible every time he thought of it, and it seemed to grow only worse and worse, but he was terrified of telling Logan the truth. He felt like he had been doing this for far too long, and telling Logan now… it would mean his death, he was sure of it. He had screwed up. 

With a sigh, he threw the garlic into the pan, stirring it. Why did he have to think of this? He just wanted to _not_ be reminded of his stupidity for a bit, was that really so much to ask? 

Hoping to distract himself, Roman started humming a song under his breath, focussing on the song and the food instead. And it… sort of helped. It kept him occupied, at least. 

Not much later, the pasta was finished. Roman got some for both him and Logan, knowing that, if left to his own devices, Logan would _say_ he’d get some soon, but then forget to eat after all. He might be a smart guy, but he was a total mess at the same time. That was one of the things that made Roman fall in love with him. He was a total mess of a nerd, and Roman couldn’t possibly love him more for it. 

“Lo, I’ve got food right here,” Roman announced, stopping next to Logan with two plates of food. Logan looked up, smiling slightly as he saw his fiancé. 

“Oh, thank you, Roman,” he nodded, reaching out for one of the two plates, though Roman held it out of his reach as he did so. 

“Laptop,” he said sharply, nodding towards the laptop. Logan followed his gaze and sighed, knowing exactly what he meant. He then closed his laptop and placed it on the coffee table, turning to Roman, who seemed satisfied enough to give his partner one of the plates. Logan thanked him once more as he sat down next to him. 

“So… how’s the research coming along?” Roman asked after a brief silence, looking up at Logan before taking a small bit of his food. 

“All in all, it is going pretty alright,” the other answered. “I would have hoped for it to be better, so I could have finished at this point, but it’s not going horribly. I do expect to be able to be done tomorrow, though.”

“That’s good,” Roman nodded, turning to look at his fiancé. “Did you know that I’m super proud of you?”

Logan chuckled softly, looking up at Roman with a careful hint of a smile. “I certainly do now,” he answered. 

“Good,” he nodded. “Cause I wanted you to know that. I love you.”

Logan, who had just taken a mouthful of food, turned to his fiancé with the hints of a smile - and, if Roman was correct, even a _tiny_ bit of a blush. 

Even though he didn’t say anything - it wasn’t really his thing, as a Very Serious Guy™ - Roman knew the sentiment was reciprocated. Logan was just a huge nerd, and not the best when it came to feelings and putting those feelings into words. But Roman _knew_. He knew what Logan’s expressions meant. And this exceptionally sweet and soft one? Most definitely love. In his own little nerdy way. 

With a smile, took another bite of his pasta, looking over at Logan. God, he was so incredibly gay for this man. Despite their arguments and disagreements, he still loved him so much, and he couldn’t be happier that he was engaged to this guy. How on Earth had he gotten this lucky?

****

After dinner, the two men cleaned up the slight mess in the kitchen, doing the dishes while talking about whatever came to mind. Logan’s research - explained so Roman would actually understand it. The video Roman was currently working on. A stupidly funny post Roman had found on Tumblr that reminded him of Logan. And for a while, things were good. Actually good. Like… ‘before Remy came into Roman’s life’-good. No worries about anything. This wouldn’t last, but Roman cherished the moment. 

When they had cleaned up everything, the two men continued to just sit and talk for a while, until their conversation was finished. But eventually, Logan had to continue his research, and Roman had to edit his video. So, they both went their separate ways. Logan went back to the living room, picking up his laptop, and Roman went to his office, so he wouldn’t be bothering Logan too much. It wasn’t much of an office, it was just… the room he used to shoot his videos. He just liked to call it his office because it sounded fancier. 

However, when he entered his office and unlocked his phone, Roman saw the fifteen messages Remy had sent him in his absence, and immediately he felt his calm demeanour leaving him, being pulled back into the reality of… _this_. He deleted the notification and decided to respond to his friends first. Answer a few tweets from fans, reblog and retweet some things, before responding to Remy. As he did this, Roman noticed he received a few more texts from his fake-secret-boyfriend, but he decided to ignore this for now. Only when he felt like he was… ready enough, he opened the texts. 

 

 **Remy <33: ** _When do we wanna do it tho?_ **_[16:50]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Im free on the weekends and Fridays_ **_[16:50]_ **

**Remy <33: **_Though I can get a day off on another day if you need me too xo_ **_[16:51]_**

 **Remy <33: ** _Whatever is best for you, Im flexible (:_ **_[16:51]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Ro???_ **_[17:17]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _…_ **_[17:17]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Alright Im gonna assume youre busy doing something else and cant respond_ **_[17:18]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Cause you wouldnt ignore me right_ 👀👀👀 **_[17:18]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Who am I kidding of course you wont_ **_[17:25]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Cause you know what Id do if you were_ **_[17:25]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _I hope you do at least_ **_[17:25]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Okay now youre taking a very long time_ **_[18:32]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Should I be worried?_ **_[18:32]_ **

**Remy <33: **_You arent cheating on me, are you? ;)_ **_[18:33]_**

 **Remy <33: ** _…_ **_[18:33]_ **

**Remy <33: **_I see you tweeting there Ro xo_ **_[19:03]_**

 **Remy <33: ** _Okay now youre just ignoring me_ **_[19:16]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Thats mean_ **_[19:17]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _:/_ **_[19:17]_ **

**Remy <33: **_Unless you want ME to be mean too of course ;)_ **_[19:17]_**

 

Roman sighed, taking a few moments to just… breathe. Remy was quite a lot to handle, and that was putting it very lightly. It was tough to put up with his constant blackmailing and threatening, even after the past few weeks, Roman wasn’t used to it. 

With a deep breath, he got himself to send a response. 

 

 **Roman:** _no… Im here_ **_[19:19]_ **

**Remy <33:** _:DDD_ **_[19:19]_**

 **Roman:** _was helping Lo out with something, sorry_ **_[19:20]_ **

**Roman:** _but… idk_ **_[19:20]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Aw thats okay boo_ **_[19:20]_ **

**Roman:** _gotta finish my current video first so… after that I guess?_ **_[19:21]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _So… when would that be?_ **_[19:20]_ **

**Roman:** _well… this video is supposed to go up on Friday, so… maybe the weekend?_ **_[19:21]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _The weekend it is then!!_ **_[19:21]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _So, am I gonna come to your place or… what?_ **_[19:24]_ **

**Roman:** _I… suppose so_ **_[19:24]_ **

**Remy <33: **_Awesome! Cant wait_ ^.^ ^.^ **_[19:25]_**

 **Roman:** _yeah… of course you cant_ **_[19:26]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _????_ **_[19:26]_ **

**Remy <33: ** _Is that supposed to mean something?_ **_[19:26]_ **

**Roman:** _no no, forget about it_ **_[19:26]_ **

**Roman:** _its nothing_ **_[19:27]_ **

**Remy <33:** ... **_[19:27]_**

 **Roman:** _really_ **_[19:27]_ **

**Roman:** _anyways, I gotta work on my video_ **_[19:27]_ **

**Roman:** _so… talk to you later I suppose_ **_[19:28]_ **

**Remy <33: **_Good luck love_ _xo <3 <3 _**_[19:28]_**

 

Roman twitched slightly at the message as he closed the application. He doubted he would ever get used to these kinds of nicknames coming from Remy. He doubted he would ever be comfortable with them. But at the same time, he doubted that Remy would give a shit if he addressed this issue. After all, he didn’t expect much from the guy who had forced him into a relationship, despite him protesting that he wasn’t okay with it. Roman’s previous protests about his nicknames and touchyness hadn’t changed his behaviour much, either. So yeah… no high expectations there. 

****

The rest of the night, Roman focussed on editing his video, stopping only when Logan knocked on his door, saying _he_ was going to sleep soon, and that Roman should stop now, so they could go to sleep together - a very good method of getting Roman to sleep early. He’d do anything to be able to fall asleep cuddling his fiancé. 

So, after finishing the thing he was working on at the time, Roman made sure to save his work - clicking the save-button repeatedly to be _sure_ it was secure - before finally leaving his office. 

Logan had already brushed his teeth and changed into his sleepwear, so now he was just laying in bed, reading until Roman would arrive. Roman saw him as he passed their bedroom on his way to the bathroom, and he couldn’t help but stare for just a second. What could he say? Logan was just extremely attractive.

****

A few minutes later, Roman had brushed his own teeth, changed into his pyjamas and he was good to go - before midnight, for once. He usually went to sleep late, staying up editing or reblogging stupid posts on Tumblr. But to be fair, he didn’t understand why he didn’t do this more often, just to get a chance to cuddle with Logan before falling asleep. 

Logan looked up from his book, smiling as he saw Roman sitting down next to him. With a sigh, Roman rested his head on Logan’s shoulder and the latter wordlessly released the book from his hold, so he could wrap one arm around Roman’s waist. He then took the book up again, so he could finish the chapter before going off to sleep - it was only two more pages, so he reasoned this would be acceptable. 

Roman sighed at the welcome, gentle touch - so much more pleasant that was he was used to from Remy. He closed his eyes, snuggling just that last bit closer to Logan without disturbing him in his reading. God, he _loved_ this. He _loved_ Logan so much. He was so gay.

****

It didn’t take long for Logan to finish his chapter. He softly closed the book and looked down at Roman, who laid so perfectly still that he could very well have fallen asleep, though he cracked an eye open when he heard the book closing, smiling up at Logan. 

“Finally,” he murmured teasingly as he wrapped both his arms around Logan’s waist. “You should focus on me now.”

Logan chuckled, kissing the top of Roman’s head. “You have my full attention.”

“Good,” he sighed contently. “Why don’t we do this more often?”

“That would probably be because you choose to stay up until three am instead of going to sleep at a healthy time,” Logan responded with that trademark smirk of his. 

Roman paused for a second, giving his fiancé a playful glare. “Oh, hush.”

“You asked for it.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“You did, Ro.”

The actor huffed softly, smiling up at the other man. “You’re a nerd.”

“I know.”

“But at least you’re my nerd.”

Logan stayed silent for a second or two. “I know.”

****

Roman hardly remembered falling asleep, but when he opened his eyes, it was morning. Logan had taken off his glasses by now, and the two of them had shifted into a more comfortable sleeping position, Roman still snuggled up to his fiancé. With a fond smile, the actor studied his sleeping partner’s face, and how absolutely adorable he looked. It was unbelievable how cute this guy could be - especially when he was sleeping and his guard was down. Not in a creepy way, it was just something Roman had noticed over the past years of dating him. He was less focussed on being taken seriously than when he was awake. Just… calm and serene. No worries. 

He tried to remember the last time they had done this. Mostly, Roman would stay up until late in the night, and wouldn’t get out of bed until noon, while Logan tried his best to keep a healthy sleeping schedule. They both knew that this was something he struggled with, but at least he tried. And even with him struggling, his sleeping schedule was better than Roman’s non-existent one. 

Anyways, this meant that they often wouldn’t see each other. Roman went to sleep when Logan was already asleep for hours, and Logan woke up way before Roman did. Sure, they’d occasionally wake the other in their own ritual, but then they’d go to sleep nearly immediately. And maybe, just maybe, their fights were a factor in this as well. Trying to avoid the other as much as possible.   

So yes, it had been a while since the two of them had really been able to sleep together like this, and while it was just a small thing - and they were asleep for most of it - Roman cherished this moment so much. Especially with everything going on right now, a little bit of relaxed, cuddling time with his fiancé was incredible, and it meant so much more to him than Logan would ever know. Most likely because Roman wasn’t planning on letting him know about the circumstances of the case any time soon, but that was a tiny detail. 

It wasn’t long before Logan started to stir. Roman grinned widely as a soft little hum left his mouth, sounding incredibly sweet and innocent. 

“Morning, Lo,” Roman whispered softly as his partner slowly opened his eyes, blinking against the light. “Did you sleep well?”

“I- yeah,” Logan mumbled, clearly still half asleep. “Yeah, I did… you?”

“Better than I have in ages,” Roman answered, snuggling closer to his fiancé as he closed his eyes again. 

Softly, he heard Logan chuckle as he softly carded his fingers through Roman’s hair, knowing the other loved it when he did that. And indeed, Roman relaxed, nearly letting out a soft purr, causing Logan to chuckle.

Normally, Roman would playfully glare at his partner for this, but he found that now… he didn’t really care. He just wanted to cuddle his significant other. 

****

They stayed in bed for a few more minutes, but soon enough, both of them _had_ to get out. Logan had research to finish, and Roman had a video to edit. 

So, after breakfast, the two went their separate ways again. Roman enjoyed being able to focus fully on his editing for now. He had intentionally left his phone in their bedroom, where he could not be distracted by Remy’s inevitable texts. He didn’t want to have to deal with that right now. Remy wouldn’t like that, but he could go fuck himself for the moment. Roman would read his messages when he was ready for it. And that wasn’t now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This is really dumb but apparently AO3 doesn't freak out at emojis anymore? It used to, so I edited everywhere when I used an emoji and made it something else but I forgot to delete some eye emojis and apparently it's fine now? Heck yeah prepare for more emojis in texts in the future lmao this will spare me so much effort omg)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Non-consensual hugging, non-consensual kissing, blackmailing, self-loathing
> 
> Note: I'm sorry for dropping off the radar again lmao it's just that… most of this chapter had been written already but Remy just made me super uncomfortable. I really… don't like the guy. Not at all.

Unfortunately, the weekend came way too early. Roman would have loved to delay this somehow. Or maybe just skip it altogether. He really wasn’t looking forwards to it. First of all: he had to allow Remy  _ into his home _ . Meaning that he would also know where he lived. Second of all: he had to pretend to be  _ friends _ with him. He had to pretend to  _ like  _ him. And finally: he had to make a video with him. Introduce him to his viewers. They would know him from now on. And all of those things… Roman didn’t want to have to deal with any of them. But then again… he had no choice in the matter. He had no fucking choice in this. He could only sit back as he let everything happen. As Remy made the choices in  _ his  _ life. He could do nothing. 

Roman got a text from Remy saying he was on his way. In only fifteen minutes he would be there. Great. Awesome. Just the best. 

He took a deep breath, trying to calm down his heart, which now started to beat wildly. He wasn’t ready for this. He had to be, but… he wasn’t. Not at all. 

He quickly responded to Remy, before closing the app and putting his phone away. Fifteen minutes left. Fifteen minutes to prepare for his doom. Only fifteen minutes. That wasn’t nearly enough. In fact, he doubted that anything would be enough to prepare. After all, he had nearly a week to come to terms with this, right? And had he? Well… clearly not. 

 

The doorbell rang and Roman flinched. Had it been fifteen minutes already? Time surely does fly when you’re waiting for a certain death, it would seem. With a quick glance at his phone, Roman established that, yes, it was fifteen minutes later and the person ringing the doorbell was most likely Remy.

“I got it,” Roman yelled reluctantly as he left his office. He had no idea where Logan was, or if the other would hear him, but it was definitely worth a shot. 

He made his way down the stairs and to the front door. Through the frosted glass in the front door, he could already see the person waiting for the door to be opened, and it was very clearly Remy. There was… something about the guy’s posture that was so typically him - and Roman hated himself for recognizing it. 

For a second, he debated not opening the door. He wanted to turn back, to prevent Remy from coming into  _ his  _ home. He wasn’t going to ruin this place. 

But… he had to. Roman had no choice. Remy would ruin his relationship if he didn’t do what he wanted. He had no choice. 

So, it was with very clear reluctance that the actor opened the door, giving Remy a very fake smile. 

“Ro!” the guy exclaimed, hugging his… ‘friend’ as soon as the door opened. Roman let out a confused huff, reluctantly returning the hug. Right. They were going straight into the non-consensual hugs, then. “It’s so good to see you again!”

“Yeah…” Roman nodded hesitantly, stepping back as soon as Remy allowed him to break the hug. “Uh- come in…”

“Gladly,” Remy grinned as he stepped inside, studying the broad hallway. “Fancy place. Guess being famous would do that, huh?”

Roman sighed, but didn’t respond. He didn’t know what to say, and quite frankly… he didn’t  _ want  _ to say anything either. He just wanted to get rid of Remy as quickly as he possibly could.

“Yeah, let’s just… go,” he started as he walked towards the stairs. Just in that moment, Logan walked downstairs, fiddling with his tie. Oh yeah- he had that… meeting later today, right? Something for his job, Roman remembered. 

“Ro, dear, could you please help me with-” He stopped as he looked up, his eyes falling on Remy, who gave him a kind smile. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there. I’m Logan, Roman’s fiancé. You’re Remy, aren’t you?”  

“The one and only,” Remy grinned, shaking Logan’s extended hand. “It’s awesome to meet you, Logan. You’re pretty much all Roman can talk about, it would seem.”

Roman noticed that Logan’s tie was half-done, and almost completely wrong, so he wordlessly shifted closed to his fiancé to tie it properly. It was sort of an unspoken thing between the two of them at this point. Logan was… quite bad as tying his tie properly, so most of the time, Roman had to do it for him. He didn’t mind it, though. It was a cute thing between the two of them, and Roman loved it more than anything. It was just one of those moments in their relationship that seemed like nothing, but meant the world to Roman. 

Logan shot his fiancé a half-amused look. “Am I now?”

“Oh yeah!” Remy nodded before Roman could even open his mouth. “It’s always ‘Logan said…’, ‘Logan told me…’, ‘my fiancé did…’, it’s pretty sweet. I don’t think there’s anything he wouldn’t do for you.”

Roman shifted slightly as he finished his work on Logan’s tie, feeling uncomfortable at the undertone to Remy’s words. He tried to act as naturally as possible. Luckily, Logan seemed to be too focussed on Remy to notice this. Though Roman had gotten pretty good at hiding this, too. 

“Ah, well, I’m flattered,” Logan responded softly. He clearly did not know how to respond to these words.  

“You two sound like an amazing couple. Roman  _ really  _ loves you,” Remy continued, before turning to Roman. “Anyways… shall we get to the video-making?”

“Yeah,” Roman nodded, “sure thing! Eh- let’s go to my office, then!” He turned to Logan, kissing him softly. “I love you. Good luck at your work thing later.”

Logan chuckled softly. “Thank you,” he answered. “Good luck with your video. And do let me know if Remy decides to stay for dinner, so I can keep that in mind.”

“Of course,” Roman said, internally cursing Logan for suggesting it. However, he still kept up his façade and embraced his fiancé once more, before leading Remy to his office on the first floor of their house. 

 

“So, dinner, huh?” Remy grinned as soon as the door closed behind them. 

“ _ No _ ,” Roman responded sharply, glaring at the other guy. “You are  _ not  _ joining us for dinner.”

“But Logan just-”

“I know what Logan said, but I don’t want you here, understood?”

Remy rolled his eyes as he sat down on black couch in the office. “Rude much,” he whispered, before gesturing for Roman to join him on the couch, which he reluctantly did. 

Roman sighed as the other guy wrapped his arms around him and brought himself so close that he was practically sitting on Roman’s lap.

“Remy, what are you-?”

“I thought we could use some downtime before shooting the video,” he explained with a smile, actually pulling himself onto Roman’s lap now. He rested his head on the other’s shoulder. 

“Can we… get to the video now, then?” Roman asked carefully, eyeing the door. He knew it wasn’t likely that Logan would walk in on them like this, but he was still scared it would happen. It would be just his luck. 

“Hmm, almost.” 

Remy turned his head, placing one of his hands behind Roman’s head as he pressed their lips together. As always, Roman reluctantly let him. But when he managed to slip his tongue into Roman’s mouth, that was when he went too far. 

Roman quickly put his hands against Remy’s chest, pushing him away. “Let’s… not… go there,” he tried, turning his head to the side. “And besides, Logan could walk in here.”

“But he won’t,” Remy said smoothly as he turned Roman’s head back to face him again, kissing him once more. 

Roman tensed up, trying to get away from the kiss - futile, of course, as Remy held his head in place. Finally, he just pushed Remy away, back onto the couch, as he quickly got up, hoping Remy would not kiss him  _ again _ . 

“Let’s… let’s just record the video and get this over with.” 

“Gee… you’re no fun.”

“So, you kiss me without my consent, yet  _ I’m _ no fun? Makes sense.” Remy opened his mouth to respond, but before he could do that, Roman already continued. “Oh, forget it. Let’s just shoot the video and get it over with, so you can get out of my house.”

“Not so eager, darling,” Remy taunted smoothly, “I will be staying for dinner, of course.”

Roman glared at Remy. “No. I don’t want you here for dinner. We shoot the video and then you’re gone.”

“Of course,” Remy nodded, “but I  _ will  _ have to talk to Logan about something, then.”

“Remy… don’t,” Roman tried, “can you please just… do this one thing? This one time?”

The other guy paused, tapping his chin as he contemplated the question. “What do you have to offer me?” he asked. 

Roman blinked. “What?”

“What do you have to offer me?” Remy repeated himself. “I have been looking forward to this for so long! If you want me to leave before dinner, you better have something good to offer to make up for this.”

Roman let out a frustrated groan as he ran his hands through his hair. Of course. Of fucking course Remy would want to get something in exchange. He could have seen this coming. It had only been a few weeks since he met Remy, but it had been the same ever since. There always had to be something to hold over his head, huh? 

“Like  _ what _ ?” he asked, exasperated. He was so tired of all of this. It had all been his own fault, but that didn’t make it suck any less. 

“You can let me take you out for dinner,” Remy suggested, so quickly that Roman suspected he had already made up his mind. “Next weekend, perhaps?”

Roman paused for a moment. “What if I refuse?”

“If you refuse, I’ll stay for dinner.”

 

Okay. So he had no choice. If Roman wanted to have a nice, undisturbed dinner with Logan - and he really, really did - he would have to suffer the humiliation of going to dinner with Remy. Which sucked. It absolutely fucking sucked. But it would be better than having him around and disturb his time with Logan. Anything would be better than that. So… he had no choice. 

“Whatever,” he sighed with clear reluctance. “Sure. Dinner it is. Let’s… let’s just do the video?”

“Whatever you want, dear,” Remy grinned, placing his hand on the small of Roman’s back. “Just tell me what to do.” 

The YouTuber scowled and pushed the hand away. “Don’t,” he hissed, turning away to focus on setting up the camera. “Don’t do that.”

Remy scoffed, but didn’t reply - much to Roman’s relief. 

 

When the camera was all set up, Roman made sure the room looked presentable, that the lighting was correct, that  _ he  _ looked presentable. Normal YouTuber stuff, you know? 

“Okay,” he sighed, “okay… you know the idea for the video, right? Just a quick Q&A, maybe some chatting on the side. Surely, you understand that?” Remy nodded. “Great.”

He looked at the camera, very reluctant to turn it on. If he turned it on, he knew he had to act like Remy was his friend. Like he  _ liked  _ him. He didn’t have a choice, but he didn’t  _ want  _ to do that. He just wished he could do anything to avoid having to do this. But he knew he couldn’t. He was way too deep into all of this shit now. He couldn’t do anything without royally messing up his life.

“Let’s just get this over with,” he muttered. The sooner it was over… the sooner Remy could leave, right?

After making sure to sync the audio, Roman started the video with his normal introduction, before introducing Remy to the audience, as a ‘good friend’ of his. Every single second, every single word out of his mouth felt wrong. He acted as if nothing was wrong, Remy acted as if nothing was wrong. They were just… talking, joking around, laughing. Roman was pretty sure that it was pretty convincing, which… was good enough. It would be nice if he would be able to convince himself, too. He was an actor, he had fulfilled many roles and acted with people he didn’t like all that much. One would think that this role wasn’t a huge deal either. But it was. It felt so wrong, and  _ gross _ , but Roman knew that he wouldn’t be able to stop it. Not without messing up his life even more. Because this role was one that would have an actual impact on his actual life. Not like his other roles that might affect his career in some way, but very rarely his personal life, and never to this extent. Which sucked, but there wasn’t much that he could do about it anyways. Not without messing up his entire life. 

 

Remy stayed behind for a bit longer after they finished filming. He had some half-assed excuse about needing to calm down for a bit after filming - which was a horrible excuse, but Roman knew the real reason anyways. He was just staying behind because he was an asshole and wanted to stay just because he could and there wasn’t anything Roman could do about it if he wanted to protect his relationship with Logan. 

But eventually, Remy did leave, and Roman honestly could not be happier to be alone. It was still an hour or so until Logan would come home, so Roman took this time to unwind and take some time for himself. God, he hated Remy so much. He hated himself even more for allowing himself to be manipulated like this. Did he really have so much bad karma? What did he do to deserve something like this?

 


End file.
